By MAG RUFFMAN
Certain holiday rituals can jack up your blood pressure. Like when it's your turn to host the family. Suddenly you're looking at your home with fresh eyes. And if your armpits are prickling with apprehension, you know you've let a few things go. Like the sluggish toilet that ralphs up incomplete assignments, or the dryer with a failing belt that shrieks loud enough to harm internal organs. Making some repairs would help you avoid the jeers of beloved family members, but you simply may not have time before the relatives descend. In this case, you'll need to create a diversion. I can help. HANG IT ALL The best way to distract a roomful of unruly personalities is to give them a challenging home improvement project that will force them to work together while expressing their opinions loudly and consuming rich snacks. Hanging pictures is the perfect activity. Wait, I mean it. Assemble all of the framed photos, paintings and art objects that you've been meaning to hang since you moved in six years ago. Your family will relish the opportunity for prolonged arguments over positioning and proper height. This will leave you free to relax with a beverage. Now, the only thing worse than a house full of arguing relatives is a house full of arguing relatives holding power tools. So you want to minimize their exposure to tools, and even hand tools should be avoided since they can be used as projectiles. So here's the deal. Hand out dimes. That's right. Each relative gets one dime. Don't tell them what the dime is for yet. TIP: For some of them, this will be more money than they've seen in a while, so you'll immediately have their attention. YULE TOOL Now it's almost time to bring out your Secret Weapon, the one tool your family is going to need to hang all of your art easily and with zero conflict. No measuring tapes, no pencils, no bitter protracted disagreements about whether or not to use wall anchors. Oh, you know all the arguments; I'm not the only one with relatives like this. You're about to introduce the Hang & Level, a brilliant tool -- and invented by a Canadian girl -- that eliminates guesswork about where the picture hook should go and also enables your relatives to ace the position on their first try. (Not that this group needs any help with self-esteem, but what the heck, it's the season of giving.) The Hang & Level is a marvelous invention brought to my attention last year by alert reader Wayne Thurston. It's available in most hardware stores and home improvement centres, which can hardly keep the tool in stock. To use the Hang & Level, choose the object you want to mount. Hang it on the perky little hook on the front of the Hang & Level tool, then hold the tool against the wall. You can have another person (or a chorus of relatives) stand back and yell when the height is right. Then, take the artwork off the tool and push a small button. The button, carries a sharp metal spike, which presses a beautiful little divot into the wall, marking the EXACT spot where the nail should go. No pencils, no measuring, no name calling. The Hang & Level is clearly one of the most useful inventions of the millenium. It took almost 10 years for decorator and inventor Liette Tousignant to bring the tool to market. She and her husband made their first prototype in 1997. Way to hang in (as it were), Liette. I got my Hang & Level at Canadian Tire ($19.99) but you may find stores sold out, so you can order online at www.hangandlevel.com. Okay, ready to find out what the dime is for? The "best ever" picture screw is a fantastic wall fastener designed by Canadian inventing couple, Len and Anne Sedgwick. You can install the Innofast picture screw with a butter knife or a dime. It has marvelous flared threads that grab drywall, allowing the fastener to act as both anchor and screw. The picture screw easily holds 30 lbs. of weight without backing out of the wall, ever. Sweet. Available at Lee Valley Tools or Home Hardware. Have fun with your relatives this season and don't forget to offer a boozy toast of appreciation to Canadian inventors. More tips from Liette: Hang pictures so that the centre of the piece is 60-66 inches off the floor. If the picture is in a room where you tend to sit rather than stand, hang stuff 42-48 inches off the floor so you can enjoy it without craning your neck. If you're hanging a bunch of pictures in an array, space them two to five inches apart. Closer than two inches would make them appear crowded. Farther than five inches makes it look like you're trying to fill space because you just don't have enough pictures. You can prevent artwork from going crooked by placing rubber pads on the bottom corners of the frames. I like to use a small ball of butyl (the stuff that seals your windshield in place -- you can get butyl in a roll at www.rotblotts.com. 4 photos by Daniel Hunter, Ruffman Entertainment Mag uses the Canadian-invented Hang & Level to mount a candleholder perfectly.
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